Why we believe.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately into the subject of belief.

First we will start with the seemingly simple question of “Why do I believe what I believe?”. As I posed this question to myself I actually think I might have [in a small way] blown my own mind. I couldn’t answer right away, but as I thought deeper it began to shake every fiber of my [so called] faith. For the past week I have had to continually remind myself that God exists. I know that seems intense, but don’t worry this will resolve for good in the end. anyway, my questions rambled forth; and because of that first faith rattling question others like it began to wash into my mind. Similar to waves on a beach the questions were endless-one on another. Questions like “When I ‘feel’ God is it God or my human emotions playing tricks on me?” and “Why do I even care about people?” I mean come on.. what good is bringing some kid to church really going to do right? I think it is needless to say I have been extremely flustered with these annoying thoughts. I have been doing everything in my own power to find the answers to all of this. It’s quite convenient that my church wide 21 day Daniel fast coincided with my recent problem. I began to seek God and asked for His help with all of this, and last night it hit me, it was an epiphany of sorts for sure. It isn’t bad that I have been hit with this because up until now this faith I claimed was still someone else’s. I’ll elaborate by jumping back to the first question. Why do I believe what I believe? Until last week I believed that God existed, created, related with His creation, sacrificed for His creation, and now through His Spirit lives with His creation. All of these things were taught to me through my parents. Now I’m not saying that this is a bad thing. I am absolutely thankful for my Mom and Dad blessing my life with this sound knowledge. But, let’s be honest for all I know I could believe it simply because I was taught it as truth. I think there are many things in life that we find aren’t as true as our parents told us. I mean take Santa Claus for instance. Many children “know” that Santa exists but he doesn’t. And when we realize it, it shatters our world. Well, for all of five minutes until we notice that we still get toys either way. But, I digress. Belief is relative but God is not relative. God is absolute truth. I can question God but God is still God. I feel Him, and not this emotional crap either. I see God moving in lives everyday, I see God move the world everyday, my God is the God. And, I know my God. I say this because this past week has challenged me to find my faith. Not my family’s faith, not my pastor’s faith, but MY faith. I had a fantastic conversation with a good friend of mine today and he told me that he had a similar experience as far as questioning his faith and the motives behind that word and its meaning. It has moved me to think that I was thrown this curveball to improve my foundation of who I am, because no longer can I stand on the faith of those around me. I have to believe and trust because I believe and trust. Also it has opened the thought that everyone must have that deciding moment of figuring out why they believe what they say they believe. I came across a passage in John a couple of days ago where Jesus says “You’ve come looking for me not because you saw God in my actions but because I fed you, filled your stomachs- and for free.” (John 6:26 MSG) Why do we look for Jesus? I challenge you to ask yourself that. Is Jesus just your crutch? Your scapegoat? Your justification? or is He your world? Jesus goes on in verse 27 and beyond to describe what the people listening should be chasing. Not a perishable item such as food but something much deeper. Jesus says chase the Bread of Life, He says I am the Bread of Life. That is the food that never perishes. If we really see this it is beautiful. Explore why you believe. If you question it, you aren’t alone. I couldn’t be more happy with my new understanding of my faith.                                                                                        And I wonder, will I keep having these crazy questions? Probably so. But I know that I am in the right place and I know God is going to faithfully provide the answers to my questions.

-Cody Ray