Searching

Life.

Life is so full of.. well choices. I know that sounds so cliche but it’s true. I mean for instance if you would have talked to me about life six months ago I would have told you that I wanted to be a writer, I loved music but not enough to make it a career, and that being involved in church was the most important thing. If you were to ask me the same question today the miniature biography would sound like this: I want to major in music and psychology so I can help people through music therapy, I may travel with my band soon, and that right now I am searching for more meaning than just serving weekend after weekend in a local church. Ha, just typing that I can almost feel the judgmental thoughts. I turned twenty a few months back and while I definitely don’t think I know it all I feel like I have experienced a bit and I feel that I am aloud to have my say in some things. I am learning that certainty in a belief or faith cannot be taught. Well, it can be up to a point, but if one continues to believe only what he or she is told by an “authoritative figure” eventually they will be failed and they will give up the belief on account of that human being. I can attest to a similar situation. I have written before about my faith and how I am finally making it my own. But, I have so far to go before I have it figured out. Well, i doubt I will ever truly have it all figured out. It’s funny; if i wanted to, within weeks I could have everybody thinking that I am soooo right with God, and I am “planted” and “growing”. It’s just so easy to fool people into thinking what you want them to think. But I refuse to do that. It is so easy to get caught up in the robotic actions of “church”. *side note: when I say “church” I do not mean the pure form of missionary based groups of people who build each other up in spirit and truth. I mean the mundane acts of commitment to a cause rather than a commitment to Jesus. I’ll be the first to say that I am not perfect. I am still searching for the right way to live. I know that I believe in God. I believe that my God created the universe and loved me enough to send part of himself to die for me. He also loved me enough to leave part of himself to live inside of me as a guide. And lately I have felt that guide moving me differently. I have lots of friends with opposing views on Christianity. I have some who believe that we are and were predestined to Christ and we have no choice in the matter. also that some are not destined to have that call in their life. ..woo that one is hard to swallow. I also have friends and family who believe that a true relationship with God is to “experience the Spirit” all the time, that the experience of prophecy, and speaking in tongues, etc is what following Christ is all about. And the funny part of it is these “factions” of friends and family totally think the other one is wrong. I sit back and watch this from the outside looking wondering how this is not absolutely absurd that the people inside the faith i believe can’t even agree on the word that we believe is straight from the mouth of God. It truly doesn’t make sense. Now I have my own stands on these issues but that’s a whole other blog. Anyway I say all this to say that as I am searching for my own foundations in the word and with strong friends, and it drives me nuts how close minded people are. They think that God sent this revelation that totally contradicts their neighbors so the neighbor is obviously wrong. Wake up! You thought that up. You interpreted something differently, then you completely put out of your mind the parts that someone else interpreted. God did not make His word hard to understand. I think it’s beautiful when someone meditates on words and finds a great new thought and shares it. I think God planned that. But to take your interpretation as gospel is dangerous. I don’t know… haha remember I’m just a baby still. But I do know two things. God doesn’t like conflict over His word, and there is no way God enjoys seeing robotic church members serving because they feel like someone is watching. I serve Jesus. Not man.

Let’s Get Political

Ohhh boy!

This evening I have been working on school work. I was given a strange assignment; To watch a video entitled “Fall of the Republic” by: Alex Jones. (I’ll post a link to it if you want to check it out). This was an eye opening film, full of horrifying truths about this country. I’m not saying i am about to become some wacked out over-zealous advocate of conspiracy theories. However I am learning the importance of knowledge about one’s government and country. As followers of Christ we are supposed to be in prayer for our country and its leaders; how can we do that if we are ignorant to current events? This film and life at the moment has really got my mind thinking about how quickly everything can change. It is crazy to see how even one decision can snowball into a completely new margin of thinking and action. But i digress.. Politics blow my mind. I am really getting frustrated with them all together. I am noticing politics everywhere! Obviously in our country, but lately I have seen a lot of politics in the local church.. that really scares me. Honestly I think that scares me more than dirty politics in the U.S. Even if a local church has a strong, pure-hearted leader, the lesser authoritative figures can still affect the body. (oh my, I wasn’t intending on bringing this blog to church ideals) I think it’s easy for a main vision to be blurred as it is copied in the hearts of ruthless followers of Jesus and a single human authority. I see it when I see immature decisions made by authorities that strike me as opposite of what I read in the Bible. Granted I’m seeing these things from an outside perspective and this is just my opinion. But, all things set aside. Let’s keep politics out of our local church community. Love is the key. pointing the finger is as futile as chasing the wind. Just love.

short blog. here is that link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VebOTc-7shU      this is long but if you take the time, it is really good.

Factions

Ok,

I haven’t posted anything for a few weeks so I kind of just want to journal a bit i suppose. I recently finished a classic book that I have found to have some incredible truths. The book is called “The Screwtape Letters” it is by C.S. Lewis I’m sure you have already heard of it but on the off chance that you have not; GO GET IT!! Some of the things written in it will absolutely change the way you think. Anyway… I have been struggling with an inner irritation with some local church issues. I feel like it is so easy for our local worship/outreach centers to become “factionized”. I don’t want to sound cynical because I love the local church and I think people definitely need to be passionate about the place where God has planted them. David said it best in Psalm 92 when he said that “planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God.” Also in John 2 we read about Jesus’ intense passion for the place dedicated to the worship of our creator. I mean dang Jesus was pissed off about unjust things happening in His Father’s house. Here is where I have issues. Jesus has a goal of bringing all people into Himself to have the same goal and ideals. He wants us to conform to His will however, Jesus does not want robots. Satan wants robots. Satan wants all men to have routine thinking and action ultimately creating apathy. Complete opposites. Jesus focused so much on the individual with His time on earth and the Bible speaks a lot on how the church is a body. All different but all working together for one purpose. I love how people think. I love how humans reason, but our reasoning is spiritually driven. I think that when our goal is to bring Jesus the glory the Holy Spirit will sway our reason. That being said: IT MAKES ME SICK when people are looked down on for having their own opinion. I see it and it breaks my heart. I hate seeing people with opinions that are from a pure heart who truly want to better things and may not have a way to communicate their idea correctly or slipped up and said something the wrong way around the wrong person getting “beat down”. If I created something and someone had a negative opinion on it I would be smart to welcome it. Although negative, it maybe just maybe could be a good idea to add to or change that creation. Just a thought. I don’t want to be part of a system that wants everybody to be individual as long as they agree with the standard opinion. I want to be apart of a group that believes Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven and that Love is the key. Apart from that I believe opinions should be encouraged always; not looked down on. Faith is not about an institution. Love is not about a building. Let’s be passionate about our creator and His mission to give everyone living person hope before we are passionate about a sign, building, or service.

God is moving.

Why we believe.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately into the subject of belief.

First we will start with the seemingly simple question of “Why do I believe what I believe?”. As I posed this question to myself I actually think I might have [in a small way] blown my own mind. I couldn’t answer right away, but as I thought deeper it began to shake every fiber of my [so called] faith. For the past week I have had to continually remind myself that God exists. I know that seems intense, but don’t worry this will resolve for good in the end. 🙂 anyway, my questions rambled forth; and because of that first faith rattling question others like it began to wash into my mind. Similar to waves on a beach the questions were endless-one on another. Questions like “When I ‘feel’ God is it God or my human emotions playing tricks on me?” and “Why do I even care about people?” I mean come on.. what good is bringing some kid to church really going to do right? I think it is needless to say I have been extremely flustered with these annoying thoughts. I have been doing everything in my own power to find the answers to all of this. It’s quite convenient that my church wide 21 day Daniel fast coincided with my recent problem. I began to seek God and asked for His help with all of this, and last night it hit me, it was an epiphany of sorts for sure. It isn’t bad that I have been hit with this because up until now this faith I claimed was still someone else’s. I’ll elaborate by jumping back to the first question. Why do I believe what I believe? Until last week I believed that God existed, created, related with His creation, sacrificed for His creation, and now through His Spirit lives with His creation. All of these things were taught to me through my parents. Now I’m not saying that this is a bad thing. I am absolutely thankful for my Mom and Dad blessing my life with this sound knowledge. But, let’s be honest for all I know I could believe it simply because I was taught it as truth. I think there are many things in life that we find aren’t as true as our parents told us. I mean take Santa Claus for instance. Many children “know” that Santa exists but he doesn’t. And when we realize it, it shatters our world. Well, for all of five minutes until we notice that we still get toys either way. But, I digress. Belief is relative but God is not relative. God is absolute truth. I can question God but God is still God. I feel Him, and not this emotional crap either. I see God moving in lives everyday, I see God move the world everyday, my God is the God. And, I know my God. I say this because this past week has challenged me to find my faith. Not my family’s faith, not my pastor’s faith, but MY faith. I had a fantastic conversation with a good friend of mine today and he told me that he had a similar experience as far as questioning his faith and the motives behind that word and its meaning. It has moved me to think that I was thrown this curveball to improve my foundation of who I am, because no longer can I stand on the faith of those around me. I have to believe and trust because I believe and trust. Also it has opened the thought that everyone must have that deciding moment of figuring out why they believe what they say they believe. I came across a passage in John a couple of days ago where Jesus says “You’ve come looking for me not because you saw God in my actions but because I fed you, filled your stomachs- and for free.” (John 6:26 MSG) Why do we look for Jesus? I challenge you to ask yourself that. Is Jesus just your crutch? Your scapegoat? Your justification? or is He your world? Jesus goes on in verse 27 and beyond to describe what the people listening should be chasing. Not a perishable item such as food but something much deeper. Jesus says chase the Bread of Life, He says I am the Bread of Life. That is the food that never perishes. If we really see this it is beautiful. Explore why you believe. If you question it, you aren’t alone. I couldn’t be more happy with my new understanding of my faith.                                                                                        And I wonder, will I keep having these crazy questions? Probably so. But I know that I am in the right place and I know God is going to faithfully provide the answers to my questions.

-Cody Ray

Movement

Today I was asked to accompany my close friend in leading worship at his local church. Since my home church wasn’t having service tonight I jumped at the chance to help a friend and experience something new. My home church is a church that does not claim any sort of denomination we as a body simply live for Christ. Now the church I attended tonight claims the ideas of southern babtist denomonation and because of that stereotype, I had preconceived notions about how tonight would unfold. As I arrived for rehersal I saw all of the men in their suit jackets, dapper-dan style hair, and ties, my thoughts started going towards the relgion based ideas I had about the babtist doctrine. That is until I met Charlie. Charlie is the college pastor at First Babtist Olive Branch, he greeted me with one of the largest smiles I have seen in a while. This guy was genuinely excited to not only meet me but just to meet people – I immediately felt at home. I’m not going to keep on with tedious details but this one encounter with Charlie shattered my ideas of babtist churches in general. As the night continued on I sat and listened as the the college group guys and girls shared about thier recent experiences at Passion cenference 2010 in Atlanta, Georgia. My heart broke as I listened to thier stories and how God spoke to them each in an individual way. many of them wanted to reach out to people in intense ways. Even though I didn’t know a lot of them I was so proud of all of them. after the testimonies I was able to have a hand in one of the most refreshing worship experiences I have ever encountered. I loved being in that place tonight. through the people at FBOB God shattered my incorrect ideas about generalizing church groups. I saw truly that God is moving in more than incredible ways throughout the entire Christian population. Huge things are in the making.

goodnight 🙂

New Year, New chances.

For the past hour I have been laying in my bed, laptop in lap, trying to type out my list of resolutions, big goals, small goals, the normal stuff for the new year. I have been racking my brain in an attempt to create this list of things to change about myself and things to accomplish. I really want to just take a bucket of paint and cover my bedroom walls with the things in life that actually matter. The things I want to remember everyday. Things like caring for others, showing this world that hope exists, being a blessing rather than growing fat with knowledge and never doing a thing with it. The band “As Tall As Lions” say it well with the lyric “It’s better to die on your feet than to live down on your knees.” I am feeling heavy right now with all of these thoughts. I mean who in the hell do I think I am? I am so inconsistent. One day I decide thatt I am going to change the world and three months later I find myself standing in the exact same spot. I want to be someone that changes lives everyday. I want to change lives for something [someOne] much greater than myself. I say that and yet I haven’t sat and talked with my creator in quite sometime. I know so much about theology and my faith, but I am not pressing in to my creator in the least bit right now. it’s truly pathetic. I love my God, but I often doubt His existence. I talk about God and my strong beliefs and convictions all the time, but my conversations with Him have recently been few and far between. I say all of this to show that I am going through these things but I am changing. God is moving strong in my life everyday. It’s amazing to see Him work even when I am far from Him in my own mind. Because no matter where I place myself in relation to the Holy Spirit there is Nothing i can do to separate myself from Him. It’s amazing to me how big God is. I am learning that relying on the ideas of man is virtually useless because no matter how educational or beneficial they seem they are ultimately a man’s thought. However, One thing that always rings true no matter how you say it is the word of God. I am continually blown away by how God’s word effects me. I could go on-and-on about it. but for now I have got to sleep. it’s darn near 3A. crazy.

P.S. I apologize for the jumbled thoughts I have just typed. This is the first blog. more like a middle school journal entree. The blogs can only get better from here. Goodnight